Today I have hit upon something.
Something that has eluded me now for many years.
Something that has seemed within my reach on so many occasions,yet always just beyond my fingertips.
I have finally got it, I have finally accepted that the way for me to truly start getting a grip on things is to stop trying to fit into what I think other people want me to do/be.
I have, for a long time now, been struggling with the feeling that I am not good enough and that I would have to make changes with myself to be happy.
This, as it turns out, was bollocks!
The reason why I was not happy was because of this need, this complusion to change, to become something else, something more acceptable. But acceptable to who? Whoever was stood infront of me at the time, whatever I read,heard or was told. This has lead me to sometimes make decisions that have left me in a position where I end up doing something I really don’t want to do or, worse, compromising my time with the people I really love and care about.
THIS IS WHERE THAT ENDS!
I can no longer put the well being of others before my own and my family.
The good news is this – Su, Owen, Morgan, Yoda, Rick, Tom, Dez,Bob, Jan, Robin(Jurgen),Carol, Mark, Jonathan, CGP and those of you who have known me for a while, I’m still me, in fact I’m probably going to me more like the person you first got to know (although, for those in that list who have known me since early childhood, I will not be wearing nappies and bonnets – although a ride on fire engine would be nice) (Rick&Yoda -I’m not going to go back to being a ‘mute’ either) .
To the people who may feel that I have intentionally mislead them all I can say is that I have OCD, it sometimes makes me do stupid things (though most of time they don’t effect other people). I need to be well, and to do that I have to do what feels right.
Right then now that’s all off my chest I can get on with being me again (Oi – no groaning!?!?!?), although I do have to figure out a nice way of telling a bunch of nice christians that I don’t share their beliefs and I’m not intrested in joining their church!?! Suggetstions welcome.
MAKE TOAST NOT WAR!
\m/
P.S. The reference to the number 3 in the tittle is a nod to my condition.
Those who know, know, those who don’t can ask.